Imagine being on your family vacation and having the time of your life, but during that fun the unthinkable happen….you feel your water break. It was by far the scariest experience that I have ever gone through. My mind was racing wondering why is this happening right now? What did I do wrong? Praying and hoping that my baby was still okay and this was nothing major. I went to the Emergency Room and they gave me a couple of doses of antibiotics and told me everything would be okay.
I believed them! Even though in my spirit I knew that I needed to be monitored and evaluated more. However, I allowed them to convince me that I was stable and free to go home and that my baby would be okay. After I was discharged, I decided I would get a hotel for the night and leave the next morning to head back home after this eventful vacation. Four hours later, however, you would find me in the hotel bed shivering, shaking, barely able to walk, and in the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. My husband and mother-in-law rushed me to the hospital ( a different hospital from the one prior) where they immediately took me in stating I was undergoing a “potentially life-threatening medical emergency”. From the time I was discharged from the first hospital to the time I was rushed to the second hospital, my baby had passed away due to a decrease in amniotic fluid. My physician took blood and submitted the sample. When my lab work returned, I was admitted due to me having a life-threatening infection (sepsis), which could lead to tissue damage, organ failure, and even death. Once admitted, I was placed on several antibiotics and once I was stable, I had to deliver my baby girl. After the delivery, I saw them take my angel away and I became devastated! Words can’t explain the pain and hurt that I felt. It was so bad that I wanted the Lord to take me instead of my baby. I couldn’t cope with the loss of my daughter well enough before the doctors and nurses were taking me into the operating room.
I remember waking up after surgery seeing my husband face and hearing him whisper in my ear, “Everything is going to be okay, we will get through this!”. As I would tell my story to family and friends they all would remind me that I was “blessed to be here”, but initially life meant nothing to me at that point. I struggled with guilt wondering if I did something wrong, did I walk too much, or did I eat the wrong thing. Crazy right, but when you experience a loss your mind can take you to places that you have never been before. I would always question, how can my body create something so wonderful then turn around and take that same thing away from me?
Dr. Renita J. Hill, Owner of Mara'J Boutique